What Dying to Self Is
Bruce Weatherly
Jun 07, 2026
Christian, consider these words of Fenelon: “Whatever light, whatever feeling we may possess, is all a delusion, if it lead us not to the real and constant practice of dying to self.”
Dying to self is an inward, deeply personal and individual thing. There are “hidden faults,” “offensive ways,” and deep inner selfish movements and patterns that are harmful to ourselves and others that we must be freed from, that we must let go of, that only God knows about. This explains much of our inward discomfort and agitation.
Everything is God Working in You to Give You Himself
Your loving Father never looks away from you or leaves you alone, even for an instant. (See Job 7:17-19) This is a good thing! Job didn’t mean for God to leave him all alone, depart from him. Job meant, “Will you never stop troubling me? Give me a break already. You don’t even let me sleep (v. 13-14). If I have sinned, show me and then I can fix it!” (v. 20)
God never takes His eye off you. He is always attentive. He is always working in you to free you from self and give you Himself. He is always working in you to free you from self at the next level. You must see how this explains all your trouble, inward struggles, hardships, and suffering. “There’s only pain where there’s still life.” Fenelon The inward struggles happen because you are fighting against the Holy Spirit without even knowing it (Galatians 5:16-18).
Nothing happens apart from God. If nothing happens apart from God, then everything is God working in you to transform you. He’s not only close when you feel good and things are going well. He is directly causing or permitting everything that is happening in your life, outwardly and inwardly, for His loving purpose of freeing you from sin and filling in that space created by brokenness, created by finally letting go of control, with Himself. This is what’s going on. This is His work of sanctification. You need look no further regarding why you go through hardships and inner struggles. It’s God. You struggle inwardly until you finally give in and give up, until you finally let go. “Brokenness [letting go] allows us to relax in the arms that will bring us to shore.” Larry Crabb
Jesus Learned Obedience from What He Suffered, and So Do We
As disciples of Jesus, we learn obedience from what we suffer. We learn dying to self from what we suffer. We learn letting go of control from what we suffer. We learn just living from what we suffer. At its core, obedience is submission of my will to the will of Another. It is a letting go of control to the control of Another. It is a letting go of control to the One who now lives and reigns within us.
What we want in our spirit more than anything — the inward peace that comes from just letting go — our flesh, the sinful nature, fights against just as hard. The good news is that no matter how hard we fight or for how long, we will eventually let go. God is faithful. He is a good dad. His love is unfailing, doing in us, for us, and through us, what He has predetermined for each of us before the creation of the world. He won’t let us hold onto control and remain miserable and drowning indefinitely. The cross always gets its way. We have been predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son. What God predestines, He does. Look no further than these things to interpret and explain all you go through, outwardly and inwardly.
From Wholeness – Where God is Bringing Us, Bruce Weatherly, Brookstone Publishing, Birmingham, Alabama, pages 145-146
