I have a grandson named Amos. We call him “Moose”. Moose is four years old, the fourth of five, and he loves attention. His favorite stage is his chair at the dinner table. For Moose, dinnertime is showtime, curtain 6 pm. By far, his best performances are when the captive audience sits down to eat. One of these productions, which debuted about a year ago, deserved an Oscar.
It is usually Dad’s job to see to it that Moose eats his dinner. Moose was being his usual fidgety, goofy, sister-poking self, and poor Dad was being his usual patient but irritated, having to repeat himself, “Amos, eat your dinner.” But our little thespian was too busy dueling with a fearsome feathery foe. Brandishing his celery stick sword and chicken nugget shield, he was in a heated battle with his brother’s toy owl, Percy.
Moose and his siblings had recently learned a new word. It’s funny how little kids, when they encounter a new word that is a bit naughty, love to say it over and over to get that assenting little giggle from the other little kid listeners, and certain visiting grandfathers. Moose’s new word had to do with bathroom bodily functions.
Finally, Dad had had enough. He stood up across the table, pointed his index finger at his little actor, and said sternly, “Amos, eat your dinner!” Without skipping a beat, Moose sat up straight in his chair, dramatically pointed his little forefinger back at Dad and exclaimed, “You poopy!” He laughingly looked around the table for consensual laughter. No one was laughing, except me. I apologized to my son-in-law later. In a fun sort of way, I guess this grampy can sometimes be a bad influence.
We all want attention. Job came to a place where he decided he had had too much attention.
“What is man that you make so much of him, that you give him so much attention, that you examine him every morning and test him every moment? Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant? If I have sinned, what have I done to you, O watcher of men? Why have you made me your target? Have I become a burden to you?” Job 7:17-20 (NIV)
Job viewed God’s attention as negative. And, indeed, it felt that way. Job had experienced devastating loss, loss of family, property, wealth, and health. He believed God was punishing him for some sin Job knew nothing about. He could make no sense of why God was doing these things to him. He felt God was against him, disappointed and disgusted with him.
I guess it’s easy for us to feel this way when we’re suffering. We’re tempted to believe that God sees us as His enemy; that He is angry with us, disapproving of us, disappointed in us, and rejecting us at some level. These bad things are happening because there’s something we’re doing wrong or not doing right that we don’t know about. Furthermore, we should be able to figure out what it is and fix it. If and when we do, things will change, but not until. We waste a lot of time in our heads trying to figure out what it is we’re doing wrong or not doing right. The truth is, for believers in Jesus, we’re already forgiven for all sin, the sin we’ve done, are doing, and haven’t done yet. God placed all His anger, disgust, disapproval, rejection, and punishment for all our sins on Jesus.
There are a variety of reasons we suffer. As believers in Jesus, punishing us for unknown sin is not one of them. One thing, however, that is always going on is that our faith is being exercised and strengthened. God allows suffering in our lives to cause us to let go of control at a new, deeper level. Job saw his experiences as totally negative. He wanted God to stop making so much of him and giving him so much attention. “Thanks, but no thanks, God.” He wanted an end to the examining and testing. He wanted God to look away from him and let him alone, even if it was only for an instant, so he could have a little relief. “Please, God, pay attention to someone else for a while.”
God allows suffering in our lives to cleanse, purify, and further free us experientially from the already defeated sin nature. Among other things, Job is a book about sanctification. Much of the time, if not most, sanctification is God working in us to free us from what Paul calls “sin that lives in me”. Romans 7:17,20. The fact is, we have already been freed from the penalty and power over us of all sin, both willful and “hidden”. Psalm 19:12-13. This freedom from sin becomes more and more real in our experience as we live by the Spirit. Galatians 5:16. Sanctification is the process of God freeing me more and more experientially from the sin nature, from the power of “sin that lives in me”. Sanctification is the process of God working in us to free us from self (the sin nature) more and more experientially and give us Himself more and more experientially. Sanctification is the process of God causing us to let go of control at ever-deepening levels of our being. This happens through suffering, by the brokenness, the dying to self, the letting go of control, that eventually happens inside of us because of the suffering. God does this by grace through faith solely because He chooses to, solely because we have been predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son. Romans 8:28-29.
So, let’s apply Job 7:17-19 to ourselves, considering God’s loving, constant work of sanctification. We can and should see this passage as something loving and positive. It is God working in us to free us from self and give us Himself. Our role is to just live and let Him do it. This is a lot easier to do once we recognize what is going on when we experience hardship and troubles, both externally and internally.
“Who am I that You make so much of me, that You give me so much attention, that You examine me every morning and test me every moment? Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant?” God makes that much of you, and He gives you much attention. His attention is constant, and His working in you addresses the tiniest details of your innermost being. These facts, therefore, explain and interpret all you go through, both externally and internally. It is God working in you to give you Himself, to free you from self, and further conform you to the likeness of Jesus. He does not need to examine you, He already knows everything there is to know about you right now, all the time. God does not find out things about you that He didn’t know before. But, poetically, it’s okay to say that He examines you every morning to choose what to work on in you that day. His testing is every moment, but it is not to see if you’ll figure things out and get things right. It is, rather, to see if you’ll humbly acknowledge that you can’t get things right, that you’ll die to self, that you’ll let go of control at this new level within you He has chosen to work on in these moments. If you choose not to let go, that’s okay because, in His unfailing love, He will cause you to do so eventually, no matter how hard you may fight against it. “Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant?” Let’s hear our Father’s gentle answer… “No, I love you too much for that. Everything is me working in you to free you from you and give you me. This is my love that surpasses knowledge. Because everything is me, I’m always intimately close.”
Thanks for reading.
Bruce
